Your choices determine your life

by Oct 27, 2020Coaching

Have you ever noticed how people who complain about their life or a specific situation they’re in often seem to think that external or random causes only are responsible for their problems?

They don’t even entertain the possibility that the quality of their life has something to do with what they do, who they choose to associate with or how they spend their time.

For these type of people the world is just a horrible place, people are awful (only other people though, they usually describe themselves as too kind, too hardworking, too honest and they’re obviously just unlucky, underestimated or taken advantage of) and they’re just the victims of unfair circumstances.

Those who instead are less prone to play the victim, simply believe there’s not much they can do to change things and don’t waste time dwelling on how they could get different results by making different decisions. They just take life as it is, don’t ask themselves questions and just live on autopilot.

“Are you a doer or a don’ter?”

 

I personally try to keep a more optimistic view on life, or maybe I’m just a “doer”.

I simply can’t stand sitting in a puddle of auto commiseration trying to come up with new excuses and new people to blame for my situation.

I must do something! I can’t accept that there’s nothing, really nothing, I can do to improve myself and my life. If I didn’t believe and practice this philosophy to the core, I could obviously never be a Life Coach.

tazze di caffe su vassoio, le scelte determinano la tua vita

We are always choosing

 

 

I’m not talking about the more obvious big choices and decisions we make in the span of our lifetime, because I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that the career you chose or the partner you picked, if and how many children you decided to have are going to have a huge impact in how your life will turn out and whether you’ll be satisfied with it.

I’m talking about those small daily choices we all make without even stopping to think for a moment. We don’t question whether they’re really good for us, or whether they’re going to take us closer to our goals or to our idea of happiness or instead will keep us stuck, or even worse drive us further away from it.

We don’t stop because we’re barely aware that we are indeed making a choice.

But we are, all the time.

We choose what to eat, what to read, what to say, who to listen to, where to go, what to buy.

Or not. And that’s another choice, another door we decide not to open in this instance.

Yet, small seemingly insignificant choices can play a huge role in determining the quality of our life and how happy we feel about it.

una serra - le tue scelte determinano la tua vita

Growing a garden without knowing

 

 

Everything we repeatedly choose, do and practice becomes a habit, a part of who we are, and over time it can bring significant results. Think about the results you get if you choose to exercise every day or read a book every week. The problem is this works just as effectively when we choose less then constructive options or when we just don’t act.

We overlook many daily choices we make and then we act surprised when our life appears to be going into a direction we don’t like. We basically close our eyes, grab a handful of random seeds, throw them around and then months or years later complain about the flavor of the fruits we planted ourselves.

We were growing a garden without even knowing.

Be mindful about what you consume

 

When you choose what to eat you are determining your future health for example, but food isn’t the only thing you consume: news, social media content, books, music, just to list a few. What and who you choose to follow and support on your favorite platforms is going to influence how you think and behave more than you realize.

Your inner circle plays even a bigger role (please don’t me make me quote Jim Rohn again!), so choose carefully who gets access to you, who you call a friend and who you go to for inspiration and support.

Needless to say, what you don’t consume, focus on, or support will not grow for you. By not planting those seeds or by not nurturing them you will not be able to eat their fruits.

Is what you are choosing getting you closer to your dreams?

 

So if your dream is starting your own business, but instead of looking for someone who could help you with it you insist on hanging out with that old friend that makes fun of you for having such ambitions, what do you think your chances to succeed are?

If you’re unhappy about your personal relationships and only meet douchebags, how is spending time watching make up tutorials on YouTube going to help you?

If you’re looking for more purpose in your life, how is following celebrities or watching people dance on tiktok going to help you?

I know you “just want to have some fun” and that’s ok, but please don’t tell me life is hard, there are no opportunities and you’re so unlucky! You are not! You’re just throwing around random seeds with your eyes closed.

Time to be intentional.

Time to be honest.

Time to choose wisely.

So, what do you choose to do now?

Do you want to start working on your goals and dreams?

If you’re ready just reach out to me, alternatively you can continue to aimlessly scroll and watch more people dancing on Reels. Up to you.

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TESTIMONIALS

This is what some of my clients say about me. Thank you!

Paola Bianchi

I found Chiara by chance, surfing on internet. I still remember that day. I’ve always been intrigued by life coaching, but at the same time I was a bit sceptical about the results.
Anyway, as soon as I met Chiara during our discovery call, I realised she was an extraordinary coach and person too.

My (first) round of sessions with her has just come to an end: during these 5 months we’ve worked together on different matters. She’s guided me to ask myself the right questions to get clear on my goals; she’s helped me challenge some of my personal traits that often contribute to unvoluntarily sabotage my own plans and she’s supported me during the darkest moments of my life changing project.

Chiara is the perfect life coach: kind and sweet, yet motivating and energetic. With every word she said and  every piece of advice she gave me I felt the immense passion she has for her job,  her committment to satisfy her “clients” and a real desire to see them succeed.

I’m sure this will only be a break and that we’ll see each other again very soon.”

 

Paola Bianchi

Francesca Fatichenti

“Chiara supported me with kindness, listening and passion.She’s always been available, even in between sessions. Thank you for everything!”

Francesca Fatichenti

Actress

Linda Puglisi

Going on a coaching path with Chiara was incredibly stimulating and regenerating in a delicate phase of my professional life in which I had to question my work and redefine my future career goals. Chiara’s uniqueness as a coach, in addition to being extremely professional, lies in her extraordinary empathy and her ability to establish a relationship of trust with her clients. Chiara is a coach and an authentic professional and was able to transmit passion, courage and motivation to me thanks to a pragmatic approach, focused on practical steps that are never an end in themselves. Thanks to her, I had the opportunity to focus on my future professional goals and create a plan for their effective realization. Chiara has always been genuinely interested in my growth and has really helped me understand how to be a resource for myself and not an obstacle. His questions opened me to new ideas and perspectives and charged me with a new creative energy.
I would recommend Chiara as a coach to acquaintances and not just for the uniqueness of her approach, empathic and authentic, and her genuine interest in the personal fulfillment of her clients, qualities that are difficult to find in such fast professional contexts in which the human aspect is relational often takes a back seat. Heartfelt thanks Chiara for this journey and for opening my eyes.

Linda Puglisi

Human Resources Manager

Fedy Charlie

Chiara was crazy, an excellent professional and a person of heart. It helped me to make sense and above all to ask myself the right questions. I will definitely need her again in the future. Absolutely recommended!

Fedy Charlie

Ferruccio pastore

“Working with Chiara has been a revealing experience. I had the chance to uncover sides of myself I had never considered before and I also worked on my own potential, which I had been unable to recognize, because I was clouded by negative thoughts.

I never felt judged, and I could talk freely about what was making feel confused. Chiara was also very patient and available even in between sessions if I wanted to reach out to her. Something worth noting is her flexible approach, meaning that she was able to understand what I needed in each moment and therefore to adapt to it.

When I started the sessions, I was deeply confused about various aspects of my life. The first goal was getting some clarity, then we started working towards the goals that emerged during the sessions. I’m glad I manage to unravel those intricated thoughts that had been with me for a while and I also feel full of energy, because I have goals to achieve.

I definitely recommend Chiara, simply because I got so many benefits, some of which become evident even at the end of the program. “

Ferruccio pastore

Teacher and Trainer, London, UK

Alessandra Mudu

“Working with Chiara has been a stimulating and enriching experience. Chiara has been a valuable ally during a transition, fully present even in between sessions.

I really appreciated being able to work on what was coming up in the moment, without forcing things, yet remaining goal oriented.

As a result of working with Chiara I gained a clearer perspective over what I was going through and what I had to let go; I took a break, processed the end of a phase in my life and started over with renewed awareness.

Chiara is open and transparent, she helped me see things from a distance and explore what needed to be healed. Anyone would benefit from working with her and I highly recommend her to all those who tend to challenge themselves. Coaching is for you if you want to take your own personal development to a new level.”

Alessandra Mudu

Digital Marketer, Barcelona, Spain

Khuloud kalthoum

“Chiara is a truly exceptional coach!

Working with her feels like sitting with a good friend and having a heart- felt conversation.
She helped me prepare for my TEDx talk and better understand my “why”.
After each session, I not only got valuable takeaways, but also felt uplifted and motivated to take concrete actions.

Her questions opened my eyes to new possibilities and ideas and her guidance and feedbacks helped me structure my TEDx talk into an informative, inspiring and entertaining narrative.

I’ve already recommended Chiara to my friends, because even in this global economy world, it’s hard to find a good coach, who genuinely cares about you and seeks to provide values before
rewards.”

Khuloud kalthoum

Entrepreneur, TEDx Speaker - Braga, Portugal

Elle McPherson

“Chiara holds a warm, welcoming presence. She has a lovely smile and clean energy.
I appreciated how she was responsive to what came up for me in each session.

She always held up a supportive space for me to process my emotions and find my own answers, without pressuring me with an agenda or goals. This made feel safe and helped me open up.

Definitely recommend Chiara, she’s a lovely coach!”

Elle McPherson

Washington DC, Travel Coach at “Beyond the Itinerary”

Vanja Vojsk

“When I worked with Chiara I felt relaxed, open to talk, it felt as if we had known each other for
a long time!
I liked her energy, so friendly, so calm, so supportive and her voice and smile too!
Thanks to her coaching I solved some personal and professional issues, I gained a lot of insights
and above all, I feel like I gained a friend and coach I can go back to anytime in my life.
Of course I recommend her! Always and to everybody!”

Vanja Vojsk

Master Reiki - Serbia

Marcello Venezia

“Working with Chiara was very pleasant, she’s very kind and helpful.
I liked her professional style, the way she related to me, how she truly helps with your personal growth without being intrusive, the way she’s able to take you to your final goal by asking you the right questions.
Thanks to her coaching, I learnt to organize my workday more efficiently, optimizing the way I use the available time.
I’ve become more aware of my own professional skills and abilities, which led me to be more self-reliant and independent and I learnt to work in a goal-oriented way. Being coached by Chiara was really helpful to me, so I definitely recommend her because I know she can help anyone else reaching their goals.”

Marcello Venezia

Engineer - Carate Brianza (MB), Italy

Carole Henrar

“My experience with Chiara was great!

She’s able to create a very nice atmosphere where you feel so well and at ease!

She’s a very good listener and she asks you these very powerful questions that help you get unstuck and move on in a positive way.

Working with Chiara made me feel much better, I gained more clarity on what I had to do next and how I could do it, which led me to “feel” and then reach my goals.

I definitely recommend her!”

Carole Henrar

Founder & CEO at "Grow to Excellence" , Liège, Belgium

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