Oct 27, 2020 | Coaching

Your choices determine your life

Have you ever noticed how people who complain about their life or a specific situation they’re in often seem to think that external or random causes only are responsible for their problems?

They don’t even entertain the possibility that the quality of their life has something to do with what they do, who they choose to associate with or how they spend their time.

For these type of people the world is just a horrible place, people are awful (only other people though, they usually describe themselves as too kind, too hardworking, too honest and they’re obviously just unlucky, underestimated or taken advantage of) and they’re just the victims of unfair circumstances.

Those who instead are less prone to play the victim, simply believe there’s not much they can do to change things and don’t waste time dwelling on how they could get different results by making different decisions. They just take life as it is, don’t ask themselves questions and just live on autopilot.

“Are you a doer or a don’ter?”

 

I personally try to keep a more optimistic view on life, or maybe I’m just a “doer”.

I simply can’t stand sitting in a puddle of auto commiseration trying to come up with new excuses and new people to blame for my situation.

I must do something! I can’t accept that there’s nothing, really nothing, I can do to improve myself and my life. If I didn’t believe and practice this philosophy to the core, I could obviously never be a Life Coach.

We are always choosing

 

 

I’m not talking about the more obvious big choices and decisions we make in the span of our lifetime, because I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that the career you chose or the partner you picked, if and how many children you decided to have are going to have a huge impact in how your life will turn out and whether you’ll be satisfied with it.

I’m talking about those small daily choices we all make without even stopping to think for a moment. We don’t question whether they’re really good for us, or whether they’re going to take us closer to our goals or to our idea of happiness or instead will keep us stuck, or even worse drive us further away from it.

We don’t stop because we’re barely aware that we are indeed making a choice.

But we are, all the time.

We choose what to eat, what to read, what to say, who to listen to, where to go, what to buy.

Or not. And that’s another choice, another door we decide not to open in this instance.

Yet, small seemingly insignificant choices can play a huge role in determining the quality of our life and how happy we feel about it.

Growing a garden without knowing

 

 

Everything we repeatedly choose, do and practice becomes a habit, a part of who we are, and over time it can bring significant results. Think about the results you get if you choose to exercise every day or read a book every week. The problem is this works just as effectively when we choose less then constructive options or when we just don’t act.

We overlook many daily choices we make and then we act surprised when our life appears to be going into a direction we don’t like. We basically close our eyes, grab a handful of random seeds, throw them around and then months or years later complain about the flavor of the fruits we planted ourselves.

We were growing a garden without even knowing.

Be mindful about what you consume

 

When you choose what to eat you are determining your future health for example, but food isn’t the only thing you consume: news, social media content, books, music, just to list a few. What and who you choose to follow and support on your favorite platforms is going to influence how you think and behave more than you realize.

Your inner circle plays even a bigger role (please don’t me make me quote Jim Rohn again!), so choose carefully who gets access to you, who you call a friend and who you go to for inspiration and support.

Needless to say, what you don’t consume, focus on, or support will not grow for you. By not planting those seeds or by not nurturing them you will not be able to eat their fruits.

Is what you are choosing getting you closer to your dreams?

 

So if your dream is starting your own business, but instead of looking for someone who could help you with it you insist on hanging out with that old friend that makes fun of you for having such ambitions, what do you think your chances to succeed are?

If you’re unhappy about your personal relationships and only meet douchebags, how is spending time watching make up tutorials on YouTube going to help you?

If you’re looking for more purpose in your life, how is following celebrities or watching people dance on tiktok going to help you?

I know you “just want to have some fun” and that’s ok, but please don’t tell me life is hard, there are no opportunities and you’re so unlucky! You are not! You’re just throwing around random seeds with your eyes closed.

Time to be intentional.

Time to be honest.

Time to choose wisely.

So, what do you choose to do now?

Do you want to start working on your goals and dreams?

If you’re ready just reach out to me, alternatively you can continue to aimlessly scroll and watch more people dancing on Reels. Up to you.

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This is what some of my clients say about me. Thank you!

Working with Chiara has been a stimulating and enriching experience. Chiara has been a valuable ally during a transition, fully present even in between sessions.

I really appreciated being able to work on what was coming up in the moment, without forcing things, yet remaining goal oriented.

As a result of working with Chiara I gained a clearer perspective over what I was going through and what I had to let go; I took a break, processed the end of a phase in my life and started over with renewed awareness.

Chiara is open and transparent, she helped me see things from a distance and explore what needed to be healed. Anyone would benefit from working with her and I highly recommend her to all those who tend to challenge themselves. Coaching is for you if you want to take your own personal development to a new level.

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Definitely recommend Chiara, she’s a lovely coach!

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Thanks to her coaching, I learnt to organize my workday more efficiently, optimizing the way I use the available time.
I’ve become more aware of my own professional skills and abilities, which led me to be more self-reliant and independent and I learnt to work in a goal-oriented way. Being coached by Chiara was really helpful to me, so I definitely recommend her because I know she can help anyone else reaching their goals."

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Working with her feels like sitting with a good friend and having a heart- felt conversation.
She helped me prepare for my TEDx talk and better understand my “why”.
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I liked her energy, so friendly, so calm, so supportive and her voice and smile too!
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Master Reiki - Serbia

 

My experience with Chiara was great!

She’s able to create a very nice atmosphere where you feel so well and at ease!

She’s a very good listener and she asks you these very powerful questions that help you get unstuck and move on in a positive way.

Working with Chiara made me feel much better, I gained more clarity on what I had to do next and how I could do it, which led me to “feel” and then reach my goals.

I definitely recommend her!

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Founder & CEO at "Grow to Excellence" , Liège, Belgium

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