Why we quit: 4 reasons and 4 strategies to help you

by Feb 26, 2020Coaching

There are many reasons why we quit working on our goals and projects and even though sometimes deciding to quit can be the best decision you could possibly make for yourself ( when quitting is more like letting go), usually quitting leads to regrets.

Regrets set in when we stop before having tried everything, when we fail to complete the cycle and leave behind unfinished business.

Now, I think we can all agree on the fact that it’s almost impossible to go through life without having any regrets! If you’ve ever tried to achieve something important to you, you have for sure made some mistakes and experienced regrets for what you could have done differently or for the chances you didn’t take. Welcome to the club, a very crowded club!

The point is that regrets aren’t fun at all to have (really??? You don’t say!)

That’s why I thought it would be helpful to understand what are the main reasons why we abandon our goals and offer you some strategies to help you stay committed, so you can get to the end of the journey and celebrate your accomplishments, rather than nurse your sore ego and drown in regrets.
These are in my opinion the four most common mistakes people make that eventually lead to quitting:

1. They copy what others are doing

You know how it goes, right? You see your best friend, or colleague or family member starting something new, they look happy, they become successful, so you want to do exactly the same!

You want to have what they have, feel how they feel and before you know you’re deep into something too big for you or even worse, something you’re not even that interested in! And then you quit!

Copying what your peers are doing without fully understanding if you have what it takes, if you’re really passionate about it and, most of all, if you’re willing to do all that it takes to succeed will very likely lead you to quitting as soon as the first obstacles and road blocks pop up (because they will).

My advice is to stop looking at what others are doing, be honest with yourself and only commit to what you’re truly interested in! If you do, you’ll be able to stay motivated even when the going gets tough, not to mention that usually, when we dedicate ourselves to what we truly love, we obtain amazing results.

put in the work

2. They want easy quick results

Expecting to see excellent results in a very short time is unrealistic. Whatever the goal, it takes time, patience and dedication to see things growing and the more ambitious is the goal the longer it will take and the harder you’ll have to work to achieve it.

So, let go of expectations, nobody gets to the top in one day, especially by daydreaming on the couch! Instead plant the seed, nurture it every day, be patient and you’ll taste your fruit when it’s ripe.

Tired of getting no results? Don’t know what you’re doing wrong? Find out how I can help you here!

a compass

3. They don’t have a strategy

Working on a project (personal, creative or professional) without a strategy is like walking in a forest without a map, or a compass, or a navigator: the risk of getting lost is high!

My advice is to draw an action plan from the very beginning, that is a list of all the things you think you have to do to reach your goal, step by step, in chronological order.

Your list will continue to grow and change as you go on and gather more information, as you see the first results and the first dead ends. Your action plan will be your map, compass, navigator every time you’ll feel lost!

4. They want to do it all on their own
Doing it all on your own it’s impossible and not only because you may not have the time to do so.

You may lack some hard skills, some technical expertise, professional experience or specific tools. Insisting on doing it all on your own will result in wasting a lot of time to get things done the right way, you’ll probably have mediocre outcomes (nobody is an expert in every field!) and maybe end up quitting out of frustration.

My advice is to invest in professional help, hire whoever you need to see your project through and focus your time and energy on the parts that only you can take care of.

Now that I’ve shared my tips with you, are you ready to dive in and make your dreams come true?

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This is what some of my clients say about me. Thank you!

Paola Bianchi

I found Chiara by chance, surfing on internet. I still remember that day. I’ve always been intrigued by life coaching, but at the same time I was a bit sceptical about the results.
Anyway, as soon as I met Chiara during our discovery call, I realised she was an extraordinary coach and person too.

My (first) round of sessions with her has just come to an end: during these 5 months we’ve worked together on different matters. She’s guided me to ask myself the right questions to get clear on my goals; she’s helped me challenge some of my personal traits that often contribute to unvoluntarily sabotage my own plans and she’s supported me during the darkest moments of my life changing project.

Chiara is the perfect life coach: kind and sweet, yet motivating and energetic. With every word she said and  every piece of advice she gave me I felt the immense passion she has for her job,  her committment to satisfy her “clients” and a real desire to see them succeed.

I’m sure this will only be a break and that we’ll see each other again very soon.”

 

Paola Bianchi

Francesca Fatichenti

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Francesca Fatichenti

Actress

Linda Puglisi

Going on a coaching path with Chiara was incredibly stimulating and regenerating in a delicate phase of my professional life in which I had to question my work and redefine my future career goals. Chiara’s uniqueness as a coach, in addition to being extremely professional, lies in her extraordinary empathy and her ability to establish a relationship of trust with her clients. Chiara is a coach and an authentic professional and was able to transmit passion, courage and motivation to me thanks to a pragmatic approach, focused on practical steps that are never an end in themselves. Thanks to her, I had the opportunity to focus on my future professional goals and create a plan for their effective realization. Chiara has always been genuinely interested in my growth and has really helped me understand how to be a resource for myself and not an obstacle. His questions opened me to new ideas and perspectives and charged me with a new creative energy.
I would recommend Chiara as a coach to acquaintances and not just for the uniqueness of her approach, empathic and authentic, and her genuine interest in the personal fulfillment of her clients, qualities that are difficult to find in such fast professional contexts in which the human aspect is relational often takes a back seat. Heartfelt thanks Chiara for this journey and for opening my eyes.

Linda Puglisi

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Fedy Charlie

Chiara was crazy, an excellent professional and a person of heart. It helped me to make sense and above all to ask myself the right questions. I will definitely need her again in the future. Absolutely recommended!

Fedy Charlie

Ferruccio pastore

“Working with Chiara has been a revealing experience. I had the chance to uncover sides of myself I had never considered before and I also worked on my own potential, which I had been unable to recognize, because I was clouded by negative thoughts.

I never felt judged, and I could talk freely about what was making feel confused. Chiara was also very patient and available even in between sessions if I wanted to reach out to her. Something worth noting is her flexible approach, meaning that she was able to understand what I needed in each moment and therefore to adapt to it.

When I started the sessions, I was deeply confused about various aspects of my life. The first goal was getting some clarity, then we started working towards the goals that emerged during the sessions. I’m glad I manage to unravel those intricated thoughts that had been with me for a while and I also feel full of energy, because I have goals to achieve.

I definitely recommend Chiara, simply because I got so many benefits, some of which become evident even at the end of the program. “

Ferruccio pastore

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Alessandra Mudu

“Working with Chiara has been a stimulating and enriching experience. Chiara has been a valuable ally during a transition, fully present even in between sessions.

I really appreciated being able to work on what was coming up in the moment, without forcing things, yet remaining goal oriented.

As a result of working with Chiara I gained a clearer perspective over what I was going through and what I had to let go; I took a break, processed the end of a phase in my life and started over with renewed awareness.

Chiara is open and transparent, she helped me see things from a distance and explore what needed to be healed. Anyone would benefit from working with her and I highly recommend her to all those who tend to challenge themselves. Coaching is for you if you want to take your own personal development to a new level.”

Alessandra Mudu

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Khuloud kalthoum

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Working with her feels like sitting with a good friend and having a heart- felt conversation.
She helped me prepare for my TEDx talk and better understand my “why”.
After each session, I not only got valuable takeaways, but also felt uplifted and motivated to take concrete actions.

Her questions opened my eyes to new possibilities and ideas and her guidance and feedbacks helped me structure my TEDx talk into an informative, inspiring and entertaining narrative.

I’ve already recommended Chiara to my friends, because even in this global economy world, it’s hard to find a good coach, who genuinely cares about you and seeks to provide values before
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Elle McPherson

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I appreciated how she was responsive to what came up for me in each session.

She always held up a supportive space for me to process my emotions and find my own answers, without pressuring me with an agenda or goals. This made feel safe and helped me open up.

Definitely recommend Chiara, she’s a lovely coach!”

Elle McPherson

Washington DC, Travel Coach at “Beyond the Itinerary”

Vanja Vojsk

“When I worked with Chiara I felt relaxed, open to talk, it felt as if we had known each other for
a long time!
I liked her energy, so friendly, so calm, so supportive and her voice and smile too!
Thanks to her coaching I solved some personal and professional issues, I gained a lot of insights
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Of course I recommend her! Always and to everybody!”

Vanja Vojsk

Master Reiki - Serbia

Marcello Venezia

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I liked her professional style, the way she related to me, how she truly helps with your personal growth without being intrusive, the way she’s able to take you to your final goal by asking you the right questions.
Thanks to her coaching, I learnt to organize my workday more efficiently, optimizing the way I use the available time.
I’ve become more aware of my own professional skills and abilities, which led me to be more self-reliant and independent and I learnt to work in a goal-oriented way. Being coached by Chiara was really helpful to me, so I definitely recommend her because I know she can help anyone else reaching their goals.”

Marcello Venezia

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Carole Henrar

“My experience with Chiara was great!

She’s able to create a very nice atmosphere where you feel so well and at ease!

She’s a very good listener and she asks you these very powerful questions that help you get unstuck and move on in a positive way.

Working with Chiara made me feel much better, I gained more clarity on what I had to do next and how I could do it, which led me to “feel” and then reach my goals.

I definitely recommend her!”

Carole Henrar

Founder & CEO at "Grow to Excellence" , Liège, Belgium

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